And I hope that you listen
All I’m trying to say isReach out and touch me
I’m right here
And I don’t want to fight anymore
I really wanna be your friend forever
Friends until the end of it allI know I’ve made mistakes
But I’m asking you give me a break
I really wanna be your friend forever
Friends forever
Seriously, it’s tiring. I don’t want to worry about losing a friend. Especially if it’s you.
Hey Al, you’re an asshole.
The Idyllist – Your Gonna Break My Heart Someday
It’s only two months into 2010 and it feels like months has pass. School and stuff have been really tiring lately. I just cannot wait until some sort of break right now. Can’t wait until I just graduate from high school and go out into the world.
The last few days felt like the busiest days of 2010 for me. I’m not as productive as I want to be, but I did do a lot of things that needs to happen. Finding time for myself really. I’ve been putting a bunch of school work off just to find some time to be introspective; review the things I’ve been doing. It’s only a few weeks into 2010, and it felt like months already. Also, I’ve did some podcast catching up to do that I’ve put off for a week or two now. It’s not too bad, as long as I can just jump back on to my school work things should be fine. There are some classes that I just don’t give a **** about now and can’t wait until the school year is over.
I’ve decided to get myself a guitar. Found a decent deal. A beginner package, but a used guitar. Since it’s a used guitar, the whole cost of the package dropped a bit. So the guitar is supposed to be barely used and a faint scratched around the hole. Free shipping makes it all worth it. $70 something, $80 for a used beginning package; with bags, extra strings, picks, etc. Seems worth it to me.
Lee and Willbee – Love’s Not Worth It
If any of the names of the following persons are real, then it is a pure coincidence. I changed the person’s name to something that protect them. Unless I said so, all the names are changed.
A note has been indirectly addressed to me from Josephine. (If you don’t know the situation, refer back to Heart Ache entry.) I can tell whom she is referring to, and I’m one of them. Even those the note is short, it gets straight to the point. Just to clarify things up, I truly respect all her decisions. I trust and believe her: all her words and actions.
I must admit that I do, or actually did, like/lust/love her more then just a good friend at one point. It has all changed now; I like her as a good friend and I love her as a sister. I care about her like a brother would to a sister. I do not expect to treated anything beyond a brother. I also admit that I’m a truly reckless with my emotions lately. I get angry really easily nowadays, while feeling sad at the same time. Although I’m legally an adult, I know that I’m still a teen/young adult.
I’ve always been told that I’m more mature then most of my peers. So I don’t really see where Josephine’s standards are for maturity, since she has called me immature. So, I need to stop making everything like a soap opera (or in a more common term I hear most people around me use: drama). But first off, I don’t watch those stuff; I don’t have time for those stuff and even if I do have free time, I prefer to do something else. If it’s because of “unrequited love”, then I don’t see how ‘immature’ that is. There are plenty of people out there that have “unrequited love”, adults with jobs and lives and a good moral standard but also have an “unrequited love”,so does that mean all those people are immature as well? Perhaps it might be fact that I care about all my friends without really expecting anything for return as immature. Really, I don’t really expect anything physical in return from my friends. I just care about each and every one of them. Yes, I admit, there are some that I care able more than others. The only thing that I expect them to actually return to me is be a friend. I am not a “crazy dominating, controlling” person. I do not expect people to be punished if it does not go the way I want. I rarely expect things to go my way most of the time.
What exactly is “unrequited love”. What exactly is love? There are more then one type of love. There is a difference between loving your family and loving your friends, and loving that “special” someone and loving your enemy/person you dislike. If love means caring for someone in an excess way, then yes you can “love” your enemy/people you dislike in a form of hate. And if loving means caring, then yes, I do put love first in my life. I love all my family and friends; I “love” my enemy/people I dislike; I’ve thought I had found that “special” someone whom I can give love to, but each time, I see them as part of my family and/or friends.
I leave these out as public for a purpose. If I truly needed to keep all these private, I would do so, or simply write it in a journal. Maybe I am immature for staying up to 3 in the morning typing this out. </3
How are these even considered stalker-like?:
-Ask a friend for his/her birthday.
-Ask a friend for his/her shoes size because you’re planning to get him/her a shoe for birthday/Christmas.
-Ask a friend for his/her address.
-Ask a friend for his/her telephone number.
-Ask a friend what size s/he wear (similar reason for the shoes).
-Tell someone you like that you will take care of them forever.
I don’t understand how can these things be considered stalker like.
Edit Jan. 18 2010: Maybe the last one, but seriously?
Sean Hayes – Flowering Spades
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